


when the lights go down

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, Fluff, Food, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intrusive Thoughts, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Violent Thoughts, platonic dlampr - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29623503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Remus has a bad day.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	when the lights go down

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: "If you're still accepting prompts, can I have a Remus angst fic? Like maybe his intrusive thought get to much? With supportive Logan, Janus, Roman and Virgil? Patton tries, but Remus' freakouts are too much for him to handle."
> 
> lyrics are from "IHATEMETOO" by lil phag

_I hate me, too (you ain't special)  
_ _Everything they say about me probably true (I am a very bad person)_

Remus smacks his forehead into the wall in front of him, shivering as the pain bleeds through his temples and into the rest of his skull. His fragile, oh so _breakable_ skull. His fingers tighten, digging his nails into his palms until he feels the skin break open. _Throw yourself down the stairs,_ his brain suggests, enticing him. _Smash your head into a billion pieces. Run the lawnmower over your hands. Ooh! What if you plucked every scale off Janus's face and watched him bleed? Imagine him bleeding his life out on the floor. Choke Patton out until he cries! Gag Logan with his own tie and never let him take it off. Silence him forever. Stab your brother. Fight your brother._ Kill _your brother. Kill him, kill him, kill him-_

A gentle gloved hand insinuates itself between his forehead and the dent in the wall, preventing Remus from smashing his head again, trying to drive all the thoughts out. When he opens tear-blurred eyes, Janus is there.

"Come, darling," Janus murmurs, taking one bleeding hand between two of his own and sinking them both out into the living room, where he knows the others (bar Patton) wait. Patton's tried, but Remus's freak outs tend to be a little....much. Patton has found it much more useful to stay away until Remus has calmed down. Then he's the one who likes to show up with mugs of hot cocoa and freshly baked peanut butter cookies, Remus's favorite. At first, it upset him, knowing that he's too much for Patton to handle, but now he can accept it. It _is_ a lot, and Patton hasn't totally given up on him.

"Cephy," Logan says into his ear, pulling him back to Earth. "Can you breathe?" Remus nods obediently, but his chest keeps hitching and interrupting the pattern, and his brain won't just _shut up for one second, would you fucking SHUT UP-_

"Here," Logan interrupts, placing one of Remus's hands on Logan's shirt, right above his heart. His shirt flutters a little as he breathes, and Remus can feel the reassuring thud of his heart beneath his aching fingertips.

"You're doing so well," Janus murmurs, at his back. To either side sit Roman and Virgil. His brother looks concerned. Virgil looks much the same as ever, but one of his hands rests on Remus's knee, providing a reassuring point of tactile comfort. His nail polish is black and chipped.

_Break his fingers, knuckle by knuckle-_

Remus whines, a high-pitched, breathless sound that brings tears to his eyes. Janus rests all six arms loosely around his middle, anchoring him in place, as Logan continues with the breathing exercises and Roman and Virgil hold his hands. His brain paints nightmare images in blood and bone, forces him to conjure up all his friends in gory technicolor, but he clings to Logan's voice like a lifeline, and slowly...painfully slowly...it ebbs, leaving him red-faced and panting for breath.

"Better?" Janus asks sympathetically, and Remus nods.

"Sorry," he mumbles. The others reassure him that it's fine in a flurry of soft-spoken words and gentle touches, brushes of fingertips that pull him back down to the ground. He can smell hot cocoa burbling in the kitchen, and knows that Patton's there, waiting.

He relaxes against Janus's chest, taking a shaky deep breath. 

_Safe_.


End file.
